Yes, I am aware that I have not posted anything lately. My main excuse is that I finally have a girlfriend after far too many years of desperate, bitter loneliness, and I now spend most of my time and energy trying to convince her to have sex with me. (I will henceforth refer to her as “Alaska”, mainly because she is cold and distant, but also because she is from Detroit). Having Alaska around has made me a much happier person in general, which I suppose is good for me, but bad for my trademark brand of cynical and hate-filled social commentary. Plus, its not like anyone reads this blog anyway, so the stuff I spend way too much time writing and revising and polishing ends up going to waste, and quite frankly I don’t really have the ambition or motivation to keep trying.
But then something came along that inspired me to post again.
I am talking, of course, about Mel Gibson’s crowning performance as a drunken anti-Semitic asshole.
He wasn’t really
that drunk; he blew a .12, which is pretty much what my personal baseline blood alcohol content is.
My main problem with Mel’s anti-Semitism is how run-of-the-mill and uncreative it is.
I mean, “Fucking Jews... are responsible for all the wars in the world"?
That’s the best you can come up with? So here, as a public service to Mel and other Jew-haters everywhere, are some of my favorite reasons to dislike God’s Chosen People:
They killed Jesus. Even though J. C. had to die in order to save mankind from the Matrix or whatever it is that he did, the Christians are still pretty mad about it. It makes you wonder if everybody would still hate the Jews if Christ had died from, say, choking on a pretzel.
They distracted the Germans from taking over the world. Nobody ever really mentions this, but if it wasn’t for Jews, the Nazis would have been able to divert all the time and effort of running concentration camps to more useful endeavors like conquering the entire globe. Then we’d all be wearing lederhosen, eating sauerbraten, and drinking much better beer.
They are funnier than gentiles. Can you name a non-Jewish comedian? Ok, probably, but not many, and those that are out there mostly suck anyway.
They run Hollywood. Hollywood makes terrible movies. (Of course, so does Mel Gibson, so I can understand if he disagrees with this point.) In particular, they keep making stupid, unwatchable Holocaust movies. Get over it already!
Jewish mothers are crazy. A friend of Alaska’s once dated a Jewish girl whose mother called her upwards of 20 times a day. And the daughter would answer no matter where or when it was – even, apparently, in the middle of sex. That’s some fucked up shit.
They run the yarmulke and kosher food industries. It’s true! You can’t buy a yarmulke in this country without a Jew getting your money. And don’t get me started on kosher foods. My local drug store has a big sign outside it that proclaims “Kosher and Non-Kosher Foods Available”, which is a great way to appeal to both Orthodox Jews and raging anti-Semites.
They invented circumcision. What the hell kind of people think it’s a good idea to slice off a piece of a newborn’s wiener? Jews, that’s who. Thanks a lot, assholes.
6 Comments:
If women are equivalent of Alaska, then gay men are Hawaii.
The question is, which one has better pussy? I think you know the correct answer to that.
Alaska? GeeeeeeeeeeZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, glad to see your happier and more fucking patient then me!
Anyway, about Mel, check this out:
http://mostlybitching.blogspot.com/
Mel gets -10000 points for the Jewish comments, but +50 for the "sugar tits" one. I mean...that's GOLD.
Henceforth I shall be known as Sugar Tits.
Seriously, I'm changing my driver's license. Bye bye tickets!
i used to have the same opinion as you of the jews, but that was before I educated myself. They contribute more to society than any other culture in the world and they are less then 1% of world population. You actualy sound very much like any other uneducated anti semite.
People who don't get sarcasm should be flayed with their own intestines.
Somewhere I read 'CHRIST DIED FOR YOUR SINS' and in the churches I attend I have never heard anyone blame the Jews. I did it, most mysteriously, by being born a child of Adam.
Techie Worlds does not deal with that stuff, but does show that belief in 'only the material world' is not logical. It does show that a lot of far-out religious ideas make sense if higher worlds exist and wow, what a creation it is if they do.
It pleases me to let open-minded people know about new ways of pondering about the age-old questions. With the existence of 'Techie Worlds' (available at amazon.com) believers in Christianity can hold their views utilizing sound logic, clear thinking and a mechanistic view of worlds. Applying Flatland's concept of contiguous dimensional worlds, Trinity, Resurrection, Judgment and soul are sensible and mechanically viable beliefs. 'Techie Worlds' follows that rule of science by which individual details are tested for their conformity to the overarching hypothesis. Admittedly, agnostics may choose not to follow such obvious and sensible logic, but no longer can they denigrate believers for fuzzy thinking. Moslems and pagans who read and understand the sound logic of the Flatland concept must adopt the reasonable Trinitarian view. 'Techie Worlds' will make them abandon the ways of terror an adopt the way of love. Techie Worlds is not standard preacher-prattle. Only by reading it can you open your mind to its valid way of understanding Christianity.
GeorgeRic
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