Snakes on a Plane

Some pathetic jackass has been whining in the comments about my recent lack of posts. Shut up. How do you know I haven’t suffered some hideous tragedy, like having my fingers chewed off by a badger or getting a botched sex change operation?

Well, I haven’t had anything so dramatic happen to me. I’ve just run into a wall of having nothing interesting to say. Looking back at my last few posts, I’m seriously disappointed with the quality of my writing, so like anything else in life I find difficult, I decided to quit and concentrate on my drinking. Nobody reads this shit anyway, except for a few demented souls who find my misanthropy entertaining (you know who you are). What’s the point? We’ll all be dead soon enough anyway, and the next generation of idiots can make unfunny jokes about how stupid everyone is.

Maybe someday I’ll get back that spark that inspired me to start this blog in the first place. Maybe not. I’m going ice fishing this weekend, so assuming that I don’t fall in the lake, freeze to death, or slip into an alcohol induced coma, perhaps I’ll come up with something next week.

In the meantime, here's penis joke: I nicknamed my dick "Popeye" because it loves olive oil.

Why Think When You Can Pray?

A recent post on Gods4Suckers inspired me to do a wholly unscientific test via Google News:

Search Term - Hits
Prayer - 11,400
Pray - 10,500
Logical conclusion - 313
Rationality - 279
Rational thought - 113
Sound judgement - 81
Think for yourself - 24

Another fun test:
God - 51,600
Jesus - 19,500
Pat Robertson - 890
Albert Einstein - 836
Charles Darwin - 1,870
"Charles Darwin" but not "Intelligent Design" - 544
Stephen Hawking - 74
Richard Dawkins - 74 (we have a tie!)
Lindsay Lohan - 3,150

Is this the media pandering to religious lunatics, or is this a genuine reflection of the way the majority of people think? Either way, I'm praying for a catastrophic meteor strike. God Bless America!

Holy Shit, I Am NEVER Drinking Again

Happy New Year